Category Archives: Motherhood

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How do we do the impossible things facing us?

In an early morning outburst, I fled my schoolroom and barreled down the stairs.  Leaving my two homeschooled children behind, I shut the school room door, and my bedroom door, and my bathroom door, and then my closet door.  There, in the darkness of my walk-in closet, I fell to my knees and put my forehead on the bristly Berber carpet.

“Jesus,” I desperately prayed, “please let my children live until my husband gets home.”

I was exasperated, frustrated, and felt totally unable to homeschool my children.  I had no clue what I was doing and knew that I would go down in the hall of fame of homeschool teacher failures.  I didn’t know how to do the impossible things facing me.

how to do impossible things

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Declarations for parents of teenagers

Teenagers often don’t know when to keep their mouths shut.  A few years ago, a teenager boldly told me what their mother thought about me.  And then the teen went on to tell me their mother’s beliefs on parenting, which were very different from how I was raising my children.  The insinuation was this their mother did it the right way, and I did it the wrong way.

Honestly, I was crushed. And confused.  Insecurity joined the party as I questioned every aspect of my motherhood.  When I compared myself to this other mother, I came up wanting.

how to parent teenagers

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These are the 95 Things my Mother did well

Sometimes we take jokes too far and hurt people’s feelings.  I know, because I have done it. My family was sitting around the dinner table in the home of my mother and stepfather, Becky and Howell Pruett.  We were enjoying a holiday meal together at Christmas. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I know that I was joking about some activity I disliked or mistake of my mother’s when I was a child.

It could have been how she used to drag me to yard sales at six in the morning when I was a sleepyhead teenager. I won’t go to a yard sale to this day! Or I was probably STILL ragging her about when I was in high school and she ate my Bojangles leftovers that I had been thinking about ALL DAY. You know what I’m talking about. My Cajun pintos were gone, and I still haven’t forgiven her.  LOL.

Anyway, I jokingly said something, but it seemed to hit a tender point. My mom replied,

“Children seem to remember the five things you did wrong as a parent and forget the ninety-five things you did right.”

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Surprisingly, I survived my mid-life crisis

I remember some sage advice given to me in a Target checkout line many years ago. I was a young mother, with an energetic two-year-old daughter and a precocious four-year-old son with autism. My life was crazy, with birthday parties and T-ball games and lots of therapy appointments. As I was frantically trying to hold it all together in line until we could pay for our purchases, an older, wiser woman who was behind me in line uttered something that is a familiar platitude:

“Enjoy it, honey. These are the best years of your life.”

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Actually, I wasn’t a horrible mother after all…

It was Saturday night. I was snuggled down under my covers and my eighteen year old daughter, Hannah, was sitting on the bed beside me. A freshman in college, she had just received a surprising grade on her English paper. Expecting an A, she received a C. Confused and upset, her tears slowly rolled down her face. Knowing she had to head back to ECU the next day, she said something I thought I would never hear.

“Mommy, I don’t want to go back to school.”

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A message of hope to the “control freak” Mama

My sweet teenage daughter stood in my doorway at 10 pm. I was ready to rest, relax, and entertain my brain after a long day. Love story in hand, I was at peace. Then she dropped a bomb on me, “Mom, I just found out I had to be at the church tomorrow at 4 pm.”

WHAT?

I had already filled out my “To-do” list for the next day, and every time slot had something in it. Errands. Pay bills. Work in garden. Make dinner. Send emails. There was no entry that read, “Drive daughter 30 minutes across town at 4 pm.” My plans disrupted, I could feel all the muscles in my back begin to tense. There went relaxation.

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The life-changing day my daughter left for college

My daughter, Hannah, is in graduate school at East Carolina University.  When we took her to college as a freshman in 2016, I wrote two blog posts, one that I posted, and one that was too personal for us to publish.  Finally, we were both ready for me to truly share my heart.  This is what it was like for me on the day that I had to let my daughter go.  

I woke up early, the sound of the noisy hotel room air conditioner stirring me to wakefulness. I hadn’t been awake for long before the realization of “the day” hit my consciousness. With a groan, I felt the heaviness settle once again upon my soul. It was the day that a child often longs for and a mother dreads and it comes in a variety of ways.

It was the day to let my daughter go.

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My son took a piece of my heart with him…

I stuffed the tissue in my pocket knowing that the inevitable was about to happen. As much as I wanted to create a stalling tactic and pause time, I only had a few more minutes with my 19 year old son until I had to tell him goodbye. He was leaving us for a nine week summer job that was five hours away from home. I asked him to find a summer job, and he did. I should have said to find a summer job closer to home!

This is his first time living away from home, and what makes this farewell different than others is we weren’t sure if this day would ever happen. When my son was three years old, he was diagnosed with autism, and all of our hopes and dreams for him were suddenly up in the air.

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Your triumphs as a mother are scattered among your failures

I spent a recent morning looking through scrapbooks.  I made the scrapbooks when my children were little because I needed something to look forward to at the end of the day.  I was a stay-at-home mommy to two toddlers that were 20 months apart, and every night at 9 pm, after they were put to bed, I scrapbooked.  I eventually completed about thirty scrapbooks.  I desperately needed that creative outlet.

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Dear Minivan: Lives were shaped within your sliding doors

Dear Minivan,

Today is a bittersweet day – I am surprised that I am crying. It is the day that I will tell you goodbye and the day that I will take home a new vehicle.   I’ve entered a new season of life – my teenage children are both in college.  I’m sad to see you go but happy for a new change.  I didn’t want to let you go without taking a moment to let you know what you mean to me.

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