I met with my mentor this past week. We meet monthly over coffee and we talk about my family, my health, and ministry, among other things. I knew this month that I needed a lot of her wisdom. Do you know that she has all of her wisdom teeth? No wonder she is a wise woman.

When she asked about ministry, I just sighed. I have a blog, but I am tired of its name. I’m a writer, but I don’t feel like writing. I’ve been trying to spearhead a speaking ministry for three years, but no churches are calling with invitations. And I start seminary this month.

Mostly, I’m confused. When I envision my future, this is all I can see:

Nothing. I have no clue, none, where God is taking me.

We all have times where we need supernatural wisdom and direction from God. We are desperate for wisdom when we are told we need surgery. We need divine direction when our business is not growing. We need a plan when our child is struggling in school. We need to know the next step.

We need to know what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Simply put, we need help. I know that God has called me to speak and minister to women, but I have been trying to figure out where. Just locally, in my church and city? Regionally, in North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia? At a national or international level?  Help me Jesus, I’m afraid to fly!

The answer to these questions tells me where to focus my time, talents, and resources.

Should I spend money and redesign my website?
Should I call MOPS groups leaders and ask to come speak?
Should I write a book?
Should I plan a retreat?
Should I blah blah blah?

I have no idea. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

This morning I was talking with God about these things and He spoke to me. When I look towards my future, I can see absolutely nothing. Put your forearm in front of your eyes (go ahead, do it) and keep your eyes open. That is what I can see. Blackness.

But today, God told me, every so gently, “Shut your eyes.” In the physical realm, I can still see nothing. But when I shut my eyes, and get still, and quiet my mind, I start to see Jesus.

I see Jesus, high and lifted up, and seated on His throne of grace. I see a Savior with skin in the game, who knows what it is like to be human. I  can see a benevolent friend who welcomes me, bids me, asks me to come to His throne of grace, so that can give me mercy, grace, and help.

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

I see someone who loves me. I’m not supposed to be trying to figure out and focus on my future. I’m supposed to just shut my eyes, and focus on Jesus.

I need to direct my time, talents, and my energies to my relationship with Jesus. It’s relationship building time. The rest – the call, the gifts, the anointing, the opportunities – will work themselves out.

Because when I shut my eyes, I can see Jesus. I know what to do. I hear Him call me to His feet, and I know how to answer:

Yes Lord, I’m here.
Speak Lord to me, for your servant hears.
Here am I Lord, send me.
Holy Spirit, I trust you to lead me, even when my eyes are shut.

You may find yourself in the same position I’m in, where you can’t see the forest for the trees. You need wisdom and direction, NOW. You need vision and focus. And you can see nothing.

Close your eyes. Focus on Jesus, and work on building your friendship with Him. And His Holy Spirit, which lives in you, will show you what to do next.  Trust God for your future.

You don’t have to figure it all out. All you need to do is close your eyes and just say one word:

“Jesus.”

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